Plateau

I know... I have been a bad, bad blogger.

Life has kicked into high gear, and my weight certainly reflects it.

I haven't reported my weigh-ins on here in over a month, but I have faithfully stepped on the scale every Wednesday.  I have hit a bit of a plateau.  Although it isn't a typical plateau where I'm doing everything right and the scale isn't budging.  It's a plateau of not doing all the things I know I'm supposed to do.

Here are the numbers from over the past month:

May 15 - 162.2
May 22 - 158.6
May 29 - 160.2
June 5 - 162.6

Here are some of the excuses events that contributed to the rollercoaster:
- house hunting in our new city = dinner out every night for 5 nights
- preparing the sale of one of our current houses (painting, cleaning, etc.) = quick, not-always-healthy dinners on the go
- surprise birthday party for my father-in-law at our house = leftovers from party for days afterward
- evening seminars twice a week with snack food tables to pick at
- a general lack of exercise

This week I have re-committed myself to following Weight Watchers and tracking everything.  I have also started half-marathon training because, damn it, why not?

See you again on Wednesday - I promise!

general ramblings :)

I've managed to undo the damage from last week and weighed in today at 160.8.  My goodness, I can't wait to break through into the 150s!

I have to admit I've been feeling kind of "blah" over the past week.  Although I am finding ways to stay active, I haven't had a solid exercise routine since finishing Body Revolution a few weeks ago.  Perhaps that is throwing me off.  I continue to run 2-3 times a week, but I'm having a hard time with that as well.  I make sure my blood sugar is on the higher side before I begin (I usually need to start in the 10.0 to 12.0 mmol/L range), and even drink a 1/2 glass of juice before starting as well, but I always seem to return home with a low blood sugar which means even more juice and calories (not to mention having that drunken-like feeling as I stumble up my road to get home).

I do know that my stress level has been gradually elevating with thinking about all the things we need to do to prepare for our big move.  Mr. McMuffintop still hasn't received the official "green light" from his physical (although he is overweight and his cholesterol was elevated, the person who did the physical said it shouldn't prevent him from getting hired; the hold up is simply that the company's doctor hasn't had a chance to review and approve the physical yet).

So until he gets that green light, everything we need to do to prepare is on hold.  We have been searching MLS for house listings, but we really need to get out there and look for ourselves.  We can't decide whether to buy a house or a condo.  We want to adopt a child/children so a house would be better, but if for some reason it doesn't happen then a smaller condo would suit us just fine.  Gah, I wish I could see the future!

Ok, back to positive thoughts. :)

This weekend I am hosting a Mother's-Day-slash-birthday dinner for my family, so I plan to prepare as much of the food in advance as possible so that I can enjoy the day rather than be running around in a frenzy.  I already made some cupcakes last weekend and immediately put them in the freezer so that they would be out-of-sight, out-of-mind.  McMuffintop 1, delicious food 0!

just another weigh-in wednesday

Actually, not really.  I've been sitting on exciting news all week, but I wanted to wait until official weigh-in day to share.

A couple of days after my disastrous weigh in last week, as much as I knew I shouldn't, I stepped on the scale two days later and I saw 166 lbs!  I guess my gain on weigh-in day had a lot to do with the Easter debacle and I was retaining some crazy amount of water. 

So today, on official weigh-in Wednesday, I am 164.6 lbs.

Not only did I break back into the 160s, but I have cruised half-way through!

Here is a small visual of my weight-loss progress so far:

 

I've noticed an almost-trend over the past 3 months.  My weight loss can be broken down into 4-week cycles:

• Week 1:  4-6 lb. loss.  Mr. McMuffintop leaves for work this week and I always go back to doing a week of Jillian Michaels' 7-Day Kickstart Your Metabolism meal plan.  Lots of veggies and lean protein are the base of this loss.
• Week 2:  1-2 lb. loss.  Mr. McMuffintop is still away for work and I am able to continue in my healthy-ways routine.
• Week 3:  1 lb. gain (except for January where I actually went on to lost another 4 lbs.).  Mr. McMuffintop comes home from work.  I continue to exercise and watch my food portions, but the food is not as clean and healthy and probably has more salt than I would use or isn't as lean.
• Week 4:  0-1 lb. gain.  Mr. McMuffintop is still home from work and I continue to exercise but also continue to eat a bit less healthy (especially if it's a holiday or special occasion... I'm looking at YOU, Easter!).

I should also mention that a couple of those gains in weeks 3 and 4 can be attributed to "that time of the month", so there's that too.

But overall I have still managed to lose 25 lbs. in 3 months at an average of 1.9 lbs. per week.  Yeah, I'm patting myself on the back a little bit.

I can now fit back into ALL of my old clothes that had been packed away for the past 6 years.  THAT is an incredible feeling.

Friday Pondering

One thing I've always found curious about weight loss is when other people notice the loss and say, "Wow, you're looking great!"  I know, I say it too when I notice someone has lost weight.

When a person gains weight, no one ever says, "Wow, you're looking terrible..."  Well, not usually.  Someone did say that to me once.

It was a lady I worked with around 15 years ago.  She didn't say I looked "terrible", but it was strongly implied.  I think her actual words were, "Oh, you've gained some weight haven't you?" with a tsk-tsk look on her face.  I'm guessing it was a cultural thing (i.e., I don't think she realized that in North America, commenting on someone's weight to their face is generally bad etiquette).

I'm hearing a lot of the "wow-you're-looking-great"s lately.  Which feels... GREAT!  But I can't help but wonder what people were thinking as I gained the weight...

If at first you don't succeed...

My disastrous self-sabotage continued after my last post.  I feel like I must now refer to March 27 through April 2, 2013 as my Week of Shame.

Easter dinner at Mr. McMuffintop's parents' was another glorious gluttonous free for all.  Ham, potato, turnip, 4 types of pie... oh my!  So many starchy, carb-filled, tasty foods to choose from.  My portions were fairly small during dinner, but the pie.  Oh the pie!  I sampled two flavours at dinner and since Mr. McMuffintop brought home a big plate of leftovers including the other two flavours I HADN'T tried on Easter Sunday, on Monday I ate the other two kinds.

Yeah, I was a total mess.

I was so far over on my Weight Watchers points that I stopped tracking.  And since in my twisted mind I knew that my new week didn't start until Wednesday, I gave myself permission to continue my downward spiral on Tuesday.  My mom had given me a chocolate bunny that had been staring at me since Friday.  Yesterday I ate the whole thing.  Every. Last. Crumb.

I spent about 10 minutes last night feeling really terrible about myself.  Why is it when I fall off the weight-loss wagon I fall so damn hard? (answer: probably because I still have 170 lbs. of me fighting gravity... hahah...).  But instead of feeling bad, I shook it off and said to myself, "Self, only you control you.  So hop to it.  Get back on that wagon and make better choices starting NOW."

And that's what I'm doing.  I began this morning back on Jillian Michael's 7-Day Metabolism Kickstart.  This week will be full of lots of veggies and lean protein while I kick all the sugar out of my system again.

In terms of exercise, I really am amazed with myself on how hard I worked during the past 12 weeks.  I actually did all 12 weeks of Body Revolution without missing a single day.  For me, that is a HUGE accomplishment.  The old me would have probably given up by week 5 or 6. 

But now that I am finished the program I need to figure out a new exercise routine.  I could do Body Revolution over again, but I feel like I need to change it up.  I am really enjoying running outside, so much so that I bought a GPS/heart-rate watch last week to track my runs (the Garmin Forerunner 410 at Costco for $154.99 - great deal considering anything comparable at MEC was at least $300).  I have every intention on entering a charity run sometime this summer, but for now I have to wait to register for anything because I'm not sure yet which part of the country I will be in this summer (but that's another story for another day).

Today's weigh-in:  171.2.  Yeah, that's another 0.6 gain, however I thought it would be a lot worse after my Week of Shame.  So back on the wagon I get, and here's hoping that I see the 160s again by this time next week!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter weekend!

It has been a busy, busy, busy few days in the McMuffintop household.  We are knee deep in a bathroom renovation (it's looking so pretty!) which we are trying to get done by Monday, so I haven't had time for much else.

But I did have time to squeeze in my daily work outs, so I'll give myself a pat on the back for that!

Unfortunately, that is about the only good weight-loss-slash-making-myself-healthier related tidbit I have to report.  Meals this week have been a disaster, and I only have 5 Weight Watchers weekly points left until my new week starts on Wednesday.

On Thursday I tried out a lemon cupcake with raspberry icing recipe in preparation for my sister's anniversary party this summer.  And guess what happened?  I licked the bowls while making the cupcakes and just had to have one that evening after supper.  I logged 50 Weight Watchers points on Thursday.

I brought the remaining 11 cupcakes to my Mom's house on Good Friday so others could give their opinions on the flavour (with a couple of small tweaks it looks like it's a winner, by the way!).  We had a Good Friday fish fry, so not only did I eat another cupcake yesterday, I also ate pan-fried fish.  I calculated the day at 42 points.

Today has been better because the cupcakes are now out of the house and out of my reach.  I am ending the day at 29 points, and the only reason it's that high is because I battled a low blood sugar after my run today and had to drink 8 oz. of orange juice (3 points).

Tomorrow we have a family Easter dinner at Mr. McMuffintop's parents' house to get through.  I think I'll probably be dipping into my Activity Points, which I never do (I usually manage to keep myself at 26-28 points total per day).  I seriously can't wait for this week to be over!  And I seriously envy those who managed to not be tempted by treats this weekend.  It's not easy, give yourselves a huge pat on the back!

Oh, and if you haven't already noticed I am way late on my weigh-in report.  The scale was up 1 pound, and I am already dreading this week's weigh-in.  BUT, it will be a new week and I already have a master plan running through my brain to get back on track (i.e., following Jillian Michael's 7-Day Kickstart meal plan again)!

p.s. I only have 2 MORE BODY REVOLUTION WORK OUTS TO GO!  I am OVER THE MOON EXCITED if you can't already tell.

WI Wednesday

Weigh-In Wednesday: 169.6 lbs

Why hello 160s, nice to see you again!  Do pull up a chair and stay for a bit, but not too long.  I'm hoping to have a date with the 150s soon...

After the dinner I had last night, I thought for sure the scale would be up.  I solved my vegetable problem and made an assortment of roasted brussel sprouts, carrots, zucchini, and mushrooms to go with my 3 oz. of chicken breast.  I was so stuffed I could have sworn I'd just eaten a Big Mac and large fry.  Even when I woke up this morning my belly still felt a little heavy.  But hey, whaddya know.  A full belly of nutritious calories rather than gross, fat laden calories = a loss on the scale.  Now why didn't I think of that sooner?

Before and After Sneak Preview

Eeek!  I can't believe I'm about to do this, but I figured it's time for some progress pictures... Since I'm not at my ultimate goal yet, consider this a "preview" before my REAL after pictures.

I knew that I could feel a difference in my clothes but it wasn't until I took pictures this morning and compared them to some "before" pics that I could REALLY see the inches I've lost.



         

  

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

I obviously still have a long way to go, and I WILL get there!  I'm excited to see where I'm at in another 15-20 lbs from now.

Wrong Direction

Welcome to another edition of Weigh In Wednesday.  Today's program is brought to you by the number.... 176.4.  Ugh.

I am up one pound from last week.  My weight is going in the WRONG DIRECTION!

A part of this could be that Aunt Flo is due to arrive any day now, so perhaps I am retaining some water weight.  It could also be that Mr. McMuffintop has been a bad influence on me (but I know I can't blame him, the things I put in my mouth are MY choice).  The past week wasn't perfect, but despite the odd indulgence, I kept a close count of calories and did not exceed my daily allowance.  I exercised my ass off (unfortunately NOT literally), but perhaps not enough.  I have been managing to squeeze in 2 work outs most days but the past week I have only been working out once per day.
 
In my weight-loss history, a plateau always seems to occur right around now (when I hit the 175 lb range).  My weight hovers there for a good month before I see it begin to drop more.  That is, as long as I don't give up before the month passes.

Mr. McMuffintop leaves for work travel again next week so it will be an opportunity to kick myself back into high gear.  I need to work on staying more disciplined while he is around though.  While Mr.McMuffintop is verbally very supportive of my efforts, his actions do not always match his words. 

A few weeks ago I had made a mini-goal to be back at the weight I was when I met Mr. McMuffintop (165 lbs) on the anniversary of the day we met (at the end of March).  That gives me one month to lose 11 lbs.  Which means that I really shouldn't have baked that loaf of banana bread today.....

Reasons to Ignore the Excuses

Yesterday was weigh in day and I lost 1.4 lbs last week bringing me to 175.4.  I know a loss is a loss, but it's hard not to feel frustrated that the number isn't bigger knowing how hard I worked.  I have to remind myself that "slow and steady wins the race".  Actually, I think I need to lay off of watching The Biggest Loser... seeing their big weight loss numbers each week can really play mind games for people doing it at home without trainers and a controlled environment.

Anyway, to remind myself of the reasons why I'm doing this and not let myself get derailed, the following is a short list of reasons I need to ignore the excuses I listed the other day:

- To be at a healthy BMI.

- To look good in a pair of skinny jeans.

- To feel confident when I'm naked in front of Mr. McMuffintop.

- To like seeing pictures of myself on vacation.

- To enjoy sports and active outings with friends and not feel like I'm going to collapse halfway through.

- To have better control over my blood sugars, blood pressure, and cholesterol.

- To be able to chase after and keep up with children if that day ever comes.

- To live a long life.

Diabetes and Exercise

Before I bring you today's regularly scheduled blogpost *said in my deep announcer voice* today is Weigh-In Wednesday! 

Drumroll please...

176.8!  That equals 4.2 lbs in one week and 13.6 lbs lost so far.  I did work very hard this week and I think going back to the Jillian Michaels' "7-Day Kickstart" meal plan was a big key to this small victory.

*****

Having type-1 diabetes can be hard when it comes to weight loss.  Diabetes is hard in general, but when you're chubby and need to lose weight, diabetes is one more (giant) thing to think about.

How so, you ask?

Blood sugar levels can be very sensitive to food and exercise, especially for someone with type-1 diabetes.  My blood sugar can fluctuate from 5.0 mmol/L (a good number within range) to 15.0 mmol/L (a bad, bad number way out of range) within an hour or two if I eat the wrong thing or don't calculate how much insulin I need correctly.

Conversely, when I exercise I need to make sure my blood sugar is a bit higher than normal (around 10.0) and that I back off on my insulin intake so that while I'm burning calories my blood sugar doesn't drop too low (below 4.0), which it often does.

And when it does drop too low I need to drink juice or eat something sugary to bring it back up.  Juice/food = extra calories I don't want in my body.

For a long time diabetes was a good excuse to not exercise hard and stay fat, but I'm slowly figuring out how to manage it. 

But to make matters even more complicated, sometimes an exercise I've successfully managed my blood sugars through one day can give me completely different results another day when I do the exact same thing! 

Another issue is sometimes hours after exercise (especially if I do strength exercises) my blood sugar will suddenly drop without notice.  More juice needed, damnit!

In a nutshell diabetes is complicated and doesn't always cooperate with my efforts.  But it can't be an excuse anymore because I'm seeing results and I know many other diabetics who successfully manage their blood sugar while doing great, athletic things (Why hello Mr. Ironman David Weingard!).

The Weight-Loss Rollercoaster

Here's a little history of my significant (20 lbs or more) weight losses and gains:

My heaviest in high school was 198 lbs.  At age 17 I suddenly lost 35 lbs without trying.  I was diagnosed with type-1 diabetes and after being prescribed a meal plan to go along with insulin injections I lost an additional 15 lbs bringing me to 148.

When I began university the following year I slowly gained 20-ish lbs back.  "Draft Night" (aka $1 beers) followed by 2 a.m. pizza slices will do that to you.  Let's say I was an even 165 at that point.

The summer between 2nd and 3rd year of university I lost 30 lbs without trying very hard from walking and biking to and from work all summer.  I was on my feet all day and probably only ate a couple of times a day (once before work and once after work).  I was at my lightest ever at 135 lbs.

It didn't last long.  Within 6 months I was back to 165.

I gradually gained more weight over the years and by the time I was 28 when I finally brought myself to step on a scale again I was back to my high school weight of 198.  I figured it had to be close to 200 considering I wore a size 16. 

I made a real concious effort to shed some weight at this point and got down to 175 within 3 months.  After indulging during a nice vacation followed by a major-ish break up with my boyfriend at the time, I gained it all back quickly.

Almost exactly one year later from the time I started the next diet, I began again from the weight of 198.  6 months later I managed to reach 155.  However part of my weight loss was on account of high blood sugars so when I finally decided to get serious about controlling my diabetes (something I hadn't paid enough attention to in all of my 20s), a little bit of weight crept back on but not much.  I stayed at 165 for almost a year.

Then I met Mr. McMuffintop.

We loved eating together, snuggling on the sofa and watching movies together, and eating together some more.  We often went for walks, but nothing that could burn the calories we consumed.

By the time we married 2 and a half years after meeting I was at 185.  2 more years into our marriage I was at my heaviest ever at 208 lbs. 

After being diagnosed with high blood pressure I knew it was time to make a change.  2 years ago I successfully lost 28 lbs.  I held steady at 180 for a year before undergoing an unsuccessful IVF treatment last April.  The hormones helped put 10 lbs back on bringing me to the 190 I started at last month.

Phew, this weight-loss rollercoaster has been a long ride.  It's time to get off.

The Numbers

Goal setting has never been one of my strong points.

Whenever I try to lose weight I have it in mind that I want to lose weight, but I never specifically say, "I want to weigh <this number> when I'm done."

I suppose that is part of the reason why I fail at weight loss most of the time.  I lose a few pounds and start feeling better about myself, so I celebrate by slowly allowing myself rewards in the form of food and by not forcing myself to work out.  It's a mad, mad cycle.

So on this go around, I figure that I should make a clear goal for myself.  And in the interest of staying honest and holding myself accountable I will be open about ... THE NUMBERS.

First of all, my height is 5'2" (I actually think it might truly be 5'1½").  Let's refer to the following BMI chart, shall we?

 

Since I am somewhere between 5'1" and 5'2" my weight should be 120-130 lbs.

My current weight?  181.0 lbs. (as of Feb 6 - I weigh in on Wednesdays).

I actually began this weight loss journey almost 5 weeks ago on Jan 9.  On that day I weighed 190.4 which equals a loss so far of 9.4 lbs.

I should probably track inches too since I know that is more important than weight, but I have a hard time measuring myself.  I find I never hold the measuring tape at the same place or keep it at the same tension.  I did measure myself on Jan 9, so I will measure again this Wednesday to compare.  I know I've lost inches though because my pants are definitely fitting more loosely.

So here we go.  My goal is 124.0 lbs... 9 down, 57 to go!

New Beginnings

I have been a fat girl for as long as I can remember.

For the most part during elementary school I was of average weight. In fifth grade I was actually even underweight for a spell when I suffered from a bowel-related illness. But for some reason in the sixth grade my weight ballooned. I was one of the shortest kids in my class (I'm guessing around 4'8"-ish) and weighed over 100 lbs.

I grew up in the 1980s pre-video game era, so I was a fairly active kid. My friends and I played outside from sunrise to sunset; biking, running, and exploring were daily events. Even when my friends were not available, I played in my family's large backyard on my own, climbing trees and bouncing balls off the back our house with a tennis racquet.

However my family's eating habits were atrocious. We ate take out at least once a week. Every second Friday I was allowed to bring a bag of potato chips and chocolate as my lunch to school. Obviously calories in far exceeded calories out.

One of my earliest memories of being teased about my weight was the summer between sixth and seventh grade. I was at a playground wearing a new shirt that just slightly exposed my midriff (like less than an inch). I heard some nearby boys talking about me. The words "whale" and "blubber" may have been involved. I remember trying not to let them see the tears in my eyes as I scanned the playground for the quickest exit.

Losing weight and being a "normal" size have occupied my thoughts almost every day since that encounter in the playground. My weight has been up and down a number of times over the years. I always seem to successfully begin diet and exercise programs, but then somehow get bored/sidetracked/become-complacent and gradually gain it all back (and sometimes more).

Obviously as I begin this blog my intention is to try to lose weight... again. So what's different this time, you ask? I'm not sure yet, but it just is. Something inside of me feels different - almost like my head is really in the game this time. Time will tell if I am able to stick to it or not, but I'm hoping that by starting this blog it might keep me accountable and motivated to stay on track.