New Beginnings

I have been a fat girl for as long as I can remember.

For the most part during elementary school I was of average weight. In fifth grade I was actually even underweight for a spell when I suffered from a bowel-related illness. But for some reason in the sixth grade my weight ballooned. I was one of the shortest kids in my class (I'm guessing around 4'8"-ish) and weighed over 100 lbs.

I grew up in the 1980s pre-video game era, so I was a fairly active kid. My friends and I played outside from sunrise to sunset; biking, running, and exploring were daily events. Even when my friends were not available, I played in my family's large backyard on my own, climbing trees and bouncing balls off the back our house with a tennis racquet.

However my family's eating habits were atrocious. We ate take out at least once a week. Every second Friday I was allowed to bring a bag of potato chips and chocolate as my lunch to school. Obviously calories in far exceeded calories out.

One of my earliest memories of being teased about my weight was the summer between sixth and seventh grade. I was at a playground wearing a new shirt that just slightly exposed my midriff (like less than an inch). I heard some nearby boys talking about me. The words "whale" and "blubber" may have been involved. I remember trying not to let them see the tears in my eyes as I scanned the playground for the quickest exit.

Losing weight and being a "normal" size have occupied my thoughts almost every day since that encounter in the playground. My weight has been up and down a number of times over the years. I always seem to successfully begin diet and exercise programs, but then somehow get bored/sidetracked/become-complacent and gradually gain it all back (and sometimes more).

Obviously as I begin this blog my intention is to try to lose weight... again. So what's different this time, you ask? I'm not sure yet, but it just is. Something inside of me feels different - almost like my head is really in the game this time. Time will tell if I am able to stick to it or not, but I'm hoping that by starting this blog it might keep me accountable and motivated to stay on track.